I am in the midst of a dismal situation with the College of Education here at MSU. As part of our application, we have to complete an essay. No sweat for me; I'm a great writer and I could prattle on for days about my favorite subject: myself. Piece of cake, right?
WRONG~!
The essay needs to be taken in a computer lab on campus, with everyone else who registered to take it that day. We are only given one hour, ONE hour, to finish the entire thing. And of course we weren't given the actual topic in advance.
Once the time was started, I immediately was overwhelmed by the furious smashing of dozens of keys. It was so loud and discordant that I wasn't sure I'd be able to begin. But, I relaxed. It took me at least 10 minutes to actually begin typing words, and several more after that of deleting and cutting and re-typing until I finally hit my stride.
My stride, unfortunately, can be a bottomless pit. It took a long, long time for me to actually come to the point I was trying to make, which answered the initial question asked of me. Time was up before I could even form the sentence of my point. I asked for just a few minutes longer to finish, but was of course denied.
I visited the CoE in person to ask if I could be granted more time to finish the essay. I am registered with the RCPD, and had I been a more conscientious, steadfast student, I would've known that I could've had accomodations for my essay that would have easily allowed me to finish.
Of course, this was told to me: "It says it right here on the application."
"No shit!", I wanted to say. I'm very aware now that I could've had assistance. I've only been in the RCPD for a year, and I'm honestly not used to requesting accomodations yet. It doesn't occur to me very often. I wasn't claiming that I was ill-informed; I was simply asking for mercy.
After some stress and tear enducing time had passed, I was given the option of submitting a final paragraph to the coordinator, or re-writing the essay. I was denied the option to actually see my previously written essay so that I could work my new paragraph into it. That option was undesirable, and even more so was the option of re-writing the whole thing. I don't have the time and energy to devote to another heart-wrenching, soul-exposing extremely personal essay. Sorry!
So here I am, choosing the lesser of two evils: To complete the essay and e-mail it to someone. This proves difficult without knowing exactly where I left off, but I will take what I can get.
Now, to the point of THIS blog post. Why wasn't I allowed to see my essay? How would it affect the essays written by the other students? Who would I be hurting? Why am I unable to access my own words?! Arbitrary rules are the bane of the educational system. "Because we said so" seems to be the mantra for way too many educators and administrators. Try to present them with a rational argument and they get threatened, and cast you away as some bratty smart-mouthed kid.
Even in college. Even as grown adults, we are still treated like little children who are unable or afraid to question anything. When we do we get mundane, useless answers. Higher-ups are terrified of younger people standing up for themselves and defending their rights as, wait for it, individuals. Individuality is certainly one of the biggest threats to those who play strictly by the rules.
The fact that the essay had to be taken in a room filled with others, within an hour, and with no ability to save it or view it later, speaks for itself as a rescrictive and opressive policy. Quoting myself to the woman from whom I was begging for assistance, "Isn't this what teaching is all about? Recognizing and respecting differences?"
Apparently not. In one of the videos we watched earlier in the semester, we learned how public schools were originally modeled after factories. Far too often, I feel like not much has changed.
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